


Boy Trouble.

by Lady_Blade_WarAngel



Series: Adventures of The Crazy [20]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Awkward Dates, First Dates, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hiding in Public Places, Lord of The Rings Fans, Overprotective Fathers, Semi Functional Family, Siblings, Teenage Drama, Teenage Rebellion, Teenagers, genius kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 02:42:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6935599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Blade_WarAngel/pseuds/Lady_Blade_WarAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaime and Robert are furious to find out their teenage daughters are dating boys. Tyrion and Stannis get dragged along for the ride. While Tywin finds out things about his grandchildren. Brienne and Cersei have to lay down some rules before their husbands hire faceless men to kill their daughters' boyfriends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boy Trouble.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CaptainTarthister](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainTarthister/gifts).



> Well this is genuinely complete crack. Although I hope it makes everyone laugh, there are some serious issues in this story, which I've tried to handle in a way that doesn't offend. I hope whoever reads this enjoys it. (nods)

Boy Trouble.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx 

Jaime Lannister was considered to be quite calm and collected most of the time. In fact, most people found him amiable and those who disliked him, found him rude and sarcastic. Those people had never seen Jaime in his ‘protective daddy mode’ when he thought his daughters were in danger of being attracted to any boy.

“He’s got longer hair than Arianne!” Jaime exclaimed. Brienne sighed.

“You have longer hair than me. What difference does hair make?” Brienne questioned calmly. She’d just finished feeding Arthur.

“That’s not the point! He must spend a fortune on hair products!” Jaime yelled. Arthur looked up at Jaime from his highchair and then looked back at Brienne. The look on his face was almost as confused as how Brienne felt.

“Jaime, what has hair products got to do with anything? You buy more hair products than I do too, does that mean my father should have flipped out the moment he found out I was dating you?” Brienne asked. Jaime had his hands clenched in his hair, looking rather distressed, as he paced the kitchen.

“This is totally different Brienne! The boy walks around half naked all the time! He’s trying to tempt our innocent little baby!” Jaime yelled.

“We’re still not building a tower in the garden Jaime.” Brienne stated. Jaime made to say something else, but Brienne cut him off. “Nor are we sending our daughter to a Septa’s School. We’ve discussed it, and you have yet to produce one shred of viable evidence that would make me agree to such a thing.” Brienne added.

“But... that Targaryen boy is-” Brienne cut Jaime off.

“I don’t care if he’s dancing around the back garden, butt naked and covered in chocolate sauce, Jaime Lannister. We are not sending our daughter to a Septa’s School or building a tower in the garden. Arianne is not stupid. We can trust her not to jump into bed with a boy, just because he has abs. Our daughter is not stupid, nor is she gullible.” Brienne stated firmly. Jaime pouted as he slumped into a chair beside Arthur’s highchair. Arthur sat in his highchair, staring at Jaime.

“But Brienne... It’s just ridiculous!” Jaime exclaimed, burying his head in his arms, on the kitchen table.

“You know, Rhaego isn’t that bad dad.” Both Brienne and Jaime looked at Galladon.

“Traitor.” Jaime muttered. Galladon snorted back a laugh, not taking Jaime’s words to heart.

“Rhaego helps his mother at the Green Grace Orphanage with the kids, and helps his father out at the Great Grass Sea Stables with the horses. He’s a kid person and an animal person. He can’t be that bad, or that obsessed with his hair.” Galladon said. Brienne smiled.

“Thank you Galladon. At least what you’ve said makes sense.” Brienne replied. Jaime glared at both of them.

“You should be trying to help me here. Your sister’s honour is at stake!” Jaime exclaimed. Galladon shrugged.

“If Arianne’s honour was at stake, she’s quite capable of murdering Rhaego herself. Probably with his exceptionally long hair, Dad.” Galladon stated. Jaime glared.

“His long hair is really getting to you. Isn’t it.” Brienne stated. Galladon snickered.

“Yeah Dad. Do you want to know what products he uses? I’m sure Arianne would tell you if you asked.” Galladon said. Jaime scowled at his eldest son. Galladon just grinned back at his father. Brienne rolled her eyes.

“Jaime, this is absolutely ridiculous.” Brienne stated. Galladon slumped into a seat in the exact same way his father did, and in the chair beside him.

“Come on Dad. You know this is starting to sound about as crazy as the time you thought cousin Lancel had a thing for Mum.” Galladon said. Brienne’s eyes went wide and her mouth gaped open as she looked at Jaime is shock.

“Lancel?” Brienne asked.

“Galladon, do you enjoy dropping me in it?” Jaime asked. Galladon shrugged.

“Lancel? You think that Lancel...?” Brienne was completely shocked.

“Uh... does it help that I didn’t think for a single moment that you were interested in Lancel in any way?” Jaime asked.

“You thought Lancel had an interest in me? What on earth made you think that?” Brienne asked.

“It’s a long story.” Jaime replied.

“Well we’ll have to discuss it at some point.” Brienne said. Jaime sighed.

“Dad, Rhaego is a big softy. Like Myrcella’s boyfriend Trystane.” Galladon said, consolingly. He then stood up and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Jaime staring in horrified shock at the empty doorway, while Brienne waited for Jaime’s next reaction.

“Myrcella has a boyfriend? A Martell boyfriend? What is wrong with these teenage girls? I don’t even know who my own daughter and niece are anymore!” Jaime yelled. Arthur seemed completely unconcerned.

“Maybe you should give them new names. Like Carol and Larry.” Brienne said. Jaime looked up at Brienne, his eyes sparkled.

“Yes! Exactly! Like they’re clones from a bad tv soap!” Jaime said. Brienne sighed, knowing that this was not going to end soon.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

At Lannister Corp, it was business as usual. Apart from one, small boardroom, that was the property of Tywin Lannister, and used for meetings of utmost family secrecy.

“My daughter is seeing a Martell?” Robert yelled.

“Well at least Trystane is not a Targaryen.” Jaime sulked.

“True.” Tyrion said.

“Yeah. That’s rough buddy.” Robert empathised.

“What the hell are we going to do about this?” Jaime asked.

“We could hire a faceless man.” Robert said.

“What?” Tyrion and Stannis both asked, incredulous.

“No, we can’t do that.” Jaime said.

“Finally, you’re saying something sensible, Jaime.” Tyrion said, a relieved tone in his voice.

“It’d be far too ridiculously expensive and we’d be the first ones suspected.” Jaime said.

“Oh dear Gods! Jaime get a hold of yourself! You too Robert! You cannot kill every boy your daughters wish to date! It’s not logical! Get a grip on reality!” Tyrion exclaimed.

“Strangely enough I agree with Tyrion.” Stannis said.

“My daughter’s innocence and honour is at stake!” Jaime yelled.

“What he said! My daughter’s innocence and honour are at stake too!” Robert added. Tywin did not look amused at the mostly yelled conversation taking place in front of him. Tyrion was shaking his head at the two older men. He wasn’t sure whether to be glad or unimpressed by the fact that Cersei and Brienne had been left out of this conversation.

“Rhaego Targaryen and Trystane Martell are not that bad. They could be dating Freys.” Tyrion said. Jaime, Robert and Stannis all shuddered at the very thought of it. Tywin scowled at Tyrion.

“Your Aunt Genna is a Frey by marriage.” Tywin stated.

“And did you enjoy that outcome, Father? Would you have been alright with Cersei dating Black Walder? Or Red Walder? Or any Walder?” Tyrion asked. Tywin glared.

“You’ve made your point Tyrion.” Tywin said.

“Why don’t you use your giant brain to think of a solution to our problem?” Jaime asked.

“What problem? Rhaego and Trystane are perfectly amiable teenage boys. They’re not in motorcycle gangs, not violent, and treat my nieces like queens. What possible problem could there be?” Tyrion asked.

“Yes, Tyrion is right.” Tywin said. The group of men stared at Tywin as though he’d announced a secret fetish for women’s underwear.

“You’re agreeing?” Robert asked.

“With Tyrion?” Jaime added.

“Has that ever happened before?” Stannis asked.

“No!” Jaime and Robert both exclaimed. Both Tyrion and Tywin scowled.

“Tyrion can be perfectly logical, and I can agree with him on occasion. Today happens to be a day I can agree with him. Besides, both my elder granddaughters seem to have picked boyfriends from powerful families. I approve these matches.” Tywin said. He stood up from his seat in the conference room and left, leaving Jaime and Robert gaping in shock. Tyrion was laughing.

“I don’t know why I’m here. My daughter isn’t dating anyone. She’s far too young.” Stannis said. Jaime scowled at Stannis.

“Just you wait Stannis. First Shireen will just be _friends_ with them. Then they’ll be doing _‘homework’_ together, and your wife will be telling you how cute it is. Then as soon as she hits adolescence, bang! Suddenly she’s got a boyfriend that has longer hair than she does!” Jaime exclaimed.

“Wait, is that the only reason that Stannis is here?” Tyrion asked.

“Tyrion, you’re the smartest man I know, and also the densest. I mean, Robert told Stannis to come as emotional support.” Jaime stated. Tyrion snorted out a laugh.

“We will never mention the words ‘emotional support’ and ‘Stannis’ in the same sentence. Ever again. Is that understood?” Robert stated. Jaime and Tyrion shrugged and agreed.

“I still don’t get what I’m learning out of all of this.” Stannis said. Robert patted Stannis on the back.

“Shireen’s nearly twelve Stannis. You’re _this_ close to adolescence sudden death combat round. You’ll see soon enough.” Robert said, almost sympathetically. Jaime and Tyrion looked slightly disturbed at this show of brotherly bonding between the Baratheons, but didn’t say anything on the matter. After all, Renly wasn’t there bonding with them. Yet.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Arianne, Rhaego, Trystane and Myrcella had entered a bowling alley. All four of them were in good spirits.

“So where did you tell your parents we were going?” Myrcella asked Arianne, as Trystane and Rhaego went to get them bowling shoes.

“I told them we were catching that marathon of Lord of The Rings at the cinema.” Arianne replied. Myrcella nodded.

“I approve. We get plenty of time, seeing as that marathon is going for like... nine hours?” Myrcella asked. Arianne shrugged.

“Longer I think. So we’ve got time to be bowling with Rhaego and Trystane, maybe grab a bite to eat and then stroll over and catch Return of The King.” Arianne said. Myrcella nodded.

“Yeah. Aragorn and his tall, dark and charming persona.” Myrcella said, a dreamy look coming over her face.

“Nah. It’s gotta be Legolas and his bow and arrows.” Arianne countered. Myrcella nodded.

“Well, his arrows never miss.” Myrcella replied. This caused both girls to giggle.

“What did you tell _your_ parents?” Arianne asked Myrcella.

“I told them I was going to the library to study.” Myrcella replied. Her face had a bright reddish blush on it.

“They believed you?” Arianne asked.

“I think so.” Myrcella replied. Trystane and Rhaego returned to their side, and the girls walked with their dates over to lane twelve.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

“Jaime, what made you want to come bowling today?” Brienne asked, as the twins ran backwards and forwards, waiting for Jaime to lock the car in the bowling alley parking lot. Arthur was in a car seat that Brienne carried. Galladon didn’t look too pleased to be going bowling, as he kicked a pebble with his trainer clad foot.

“I just thought it would be fun to go bowling. I mean the twins have never been, and you used to love bowling.” Jaime replied. Brienne gave Jaime an odd look.

“Jaime? Brienne?” Brienne looked to see it was Cersei who’d called to them. She walked over to them, Tommen trailing behind her and Robert. “You decided to come bowling too?” Cersei asked.

“For some reason, Jaime decided we were going bowling tonight.” Brienne replied. Cersei cocked her head to the side.

“Yeah... Robert said the same thing to me too.” Cersei said.

“Jaime! Cersei! Fancy seeing the two of you here.” Tyrion came from out of nowhere, with a heavily pregnant Margaery by his side. Both Brienne and Cersei looked at the three men, wondering what they were planning.

“Yeah. Fancy that.” Brienne replied drolly.

“Stannis gave us a lift here. He brought Selyse and Shireen with him.” Margaery said. That was when Stannis appeared with Selyse and Shireen, who ran up to the group and was soon locked into conversation with the twins and Tommen. As the four men made their way to the front of the large group, the four women gave each other surreptitious looks, knowing something wasn’t quite right.

“So where’s Joffrey today, Cersei?” Brienne asked.

“He’s gone with Lyanna Stark to see a Lord of The Rings marathon at the cinema.” Cersei answered.

“Oh? Jon and Asha’s daughter? I didn’t know that Joffrey was seeing her?” Margaery said.

“Wait. Did you say a Lord of The Rings marathon?” Brienne asked.

“Yes. Apparently, Lyanna loves Lord of The Rings. Something to do with a cute dwarf. Joffrey said he’d go with her.” Cersei replied.

“The things we do for love.” Jaime said. Brienne looked confused.

“But... didn’t Arianne say she was going to watch it?” Brienne said.

“She did indeed.” Jaime replied.

“With Myrcella?” Brienne asked again.

“Absolutely.” Jaime again answered.

“But..... Myrcella and Arianne went to the library.” Cersei said.

“That’s indeed what our daughter told us.” Robert said. Brienne and Cersei both stared at Jaime and Robert.

“What the hell is going on exactly?” Brienne asked.

“That is exactly what I wanted to ask.” Cersei added.

“You’ll find out soon enough ladies.” Robert replied. Cersei and Brienne looked confused, as they walked into the bowling alley.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

“Come on Arianne, sweetling, another strike and we win this round.” Rhaego said. Arianne grinned and as she went to bowl her latest ball, but as she turned to pick up the ball she shrieked and dropped the ball on her foot.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” Arianne yelped as she ducked.

“Arianne? What’s wrong?” Myrcella asked, then she too saw exactly what had made Arianne shriek. She ducked down as well. Trystane and Rhaego looked at their dates in confusion.

“What in the actual fuck?” Myrcella hissed.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Arianne whispered.

“Arianne? Wha-” Before Rhaego could say anymore, Arianne grabbed Rhaego’s hand and yanked him to crouch next to her. Myrcella did the same to Trystane when he got close enough.

“Myrcella?” Trystane asked.

“Sssh!” Myrcella and Arianne both said, their fingers to their lips.

“Why are we hiding?” Trystane whispered.

“I was thinking the same thing.” Rhaego asked.

“That’s why.” Arianne whispered, pointing towards the counter, where bowling shoes were handed out. Trystane and Rhaego were both slightly confused when they saw the large group of people. Rhaego’s eyes narrowed.

“Wait, aren’t they _your_ parents Arianne?” Rhaego asked, pointing at the tall blond couple, a pair of twin girls with them. “And your sisters and brothers?” Rhaego added.

“Aren’t they _your_ parents Myrcella?” Trystane asked, also whispering, pointing at the other couple.

“Yes!” Myrcella hissed back.

“Why are we hiding from your family?” Trystane asked.

“Because their fathers are completely insane and even if we weren’t on a date with Myrcella and Arianne, then we’d still be dead men.” Rhaego hissed.

“Hello kids!” The quartet jumped back with a yell, as Jaime Lannister stuck his head over to look at their huddled hiding place. “What are you doing here Arianne? I thought you and Myrcella were watching Lord of the Rings?” Jaime asked. Myrcella and Arianne both stared at each other, then back at Jaime.

“That’s strange, Myrcella told us they were both studying at the library.” Robert suddenly appeared, his words causing Myrcella and Arianne to yelp again, and stare at Robert.

“Uh... hi Uncle Robert!” Arianne said. “Hi Dad!” She added.

“Yeah! Hi Dad! Hi Uncle Jaime!” Myrcella exclaimed.

“We... uh... we just got a bit bored of Fellowship of The Ring and thought we’d go bowling.” Arianne said.

“Well, considering that Joffrey went to that same marathon with Lyanna Stark. I’m surprised you didn’t see each other.” Cersei said, appearing beside Robert.

“Uh......” Myrcella and Arianne were both a little disturbed at the sudden appearances of their families.

“Well, is this Rhaego?” Brienne asked, pointing at Rhaego.

“Yeah Mum, that’s Rhaego.” Galladon said.

“And that’s Trystane?” Brienne asked, pointing at Trystane.

“Yeah, that’s Trystane.” Galladon replied. Both teen boys were wide eyed.

“Yeah, they’re... our friends.” Myrcella said.

“Yeah! Our friends!” Arianne added. The two teen boys didn’t bother to speak any thoughts.

“Why don’t we all bowl together?” Cersei said. Jaime and Robert glared at their wives and their glares were reflected on the faces of their daughters. But Brienne and Cersei both looked unimpressed at their husbands and daughters, and all of them backed down.

“Uhm... yeah! Why not?” Myrcella replied. Both Arianne and Myrcella knew they weren’t getting out of a rather embarrassing situation. So they didn’t even say a word about how unfair and embarrassing this whole thing was.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

When they arrived home, everything was too silent. Galladon knew his father was furious. The whole afternoon and evening had been spent in embarrassing tenseness. Jaime and Robert had spent their time intimidating Rhaego and Trystane. Myrcella and Arianne had spent the time sulking. But their family had kept up appearances. Now they were home, Galladon could see how angry his father was. Of course Galladon sent the twins upstairs, and took Arthur from his mother. Arianne was looking at their parents with a sullen silence.

“Arianne Marie Lannister! Do not even try to tell me that you didn’t lie outright to us!” Brienne yelled. Her eyes blazing with anger. Galladon’s eyes went wide and so did Arianne’s, and Jaime’s. Their mother didn’t shout at her children. Not unless they’d done something seriously wrong. Usually Jaime was the one who lost his temper. Brienne would keep her cool and handle the children with calm diplomacy, rather than harsh and angry words.

“Mum I-” Arianne began.

“Not one word Arianne Marie Lannister! Not one word!” Brienne yelled. Galladon looked at Arthur, and even the baby seemed shocked to hear Brienne yell. Brienne looked at Galladon. “Galladon, take Arthur upstairs please.” Brienne told her eldest son. Galladon looked at Arianne, then at Arthur, then at his mother. He decided to flee the scene before he could become a witness to potential murder.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Jaime blinked in slight horror as Galladon fled the hallway, and jogged up the stairs, carrying Arthur. Jaime then looked at Brienne, who still looked like she was about to explode.

“Living room, right now.” Brienne stated, before striding into the living room. Jaime was strangely transfixed by the simple fact that Arianne followed meekly, more a lamb than the lioness she always seemed to be. Jaime followed, wondering whether or not he should be following Galladon’s example, and saw Brienne sat on one of the sofas. Jaime sat on the other side of the same sofa, both of them facing Arianne. Arianne made to go and sit down. “Don’t think about it Arianne. This is not a discussion for your comfort.” Brienne stated. Arianne stayed standing in the middle of the room, looking at her parents, and Jaime almost felt sorry for her. Not that he wasn’t still furious with his eldest child, because he absolutely was, but he knew that once Brienne lost her temper that was that. They all stood in silence for a minute. Brienne sat in the corner of the sofa. Jaime sat in the other corner. Arianne was still standing.

“Mum?” Arianne asked timidly.

“The only words I want to hear come out of your mouth are an adequate explanation as to why you decided to tell us you were going to the cinema with Myrcella, and instead went to a bowling alley with Rhaego Targaryen.” Brienne said. Arianne looked nervous.

“We... we weren’t exactly lying, we just-” Arianne was cut off by a sharp stare.

“You _were_ lying Arianne. When you tell me you are going to the cinema, that is exactly where I expect to find you. When you tell me you are going somewhere with your cousin, that is who I expect to find you with. You _knew_ you and Myrcella had no intention of going to the cinema. You planned, instead, to go on a double date. You lied to me. It’s as simple as that.” Brienne said. Arianne looked shell shocked.

“But Mum-” Arianne tried to say, but Brienne slapped a hand on the arm of the sofa, where she sat.

“There are _no buts_ Arianne Marie. None. I don’t care about why you lied. I don’t care why you thought you’d get away with it. I don’t care if your father stays an overprotective nutcase for the rest of his days. What I care about, is that you lied to me.” Brienne said.

“If Dad wasn’t such an overprotective nutcase, maybe I wouldn’t feel like I have to hide stuff.” Arianne said.

“Your father is overprotective because he loves you Arianne. Give me a good reason why you thought it was a good idea to lie to us.” Brienne replied.

“I...” Arianne trailed off. She knew that whatever she said wouldn’t be a good enough reason.

“I’m waiting, Arianne.” Brienne said. Jaime didn’t need to say a word. He could almost see the wheels turning in Arianne’s head, and the anger that Brienne was radiating.

“I just wanted to go out on a date, where Dad didn’t send private investigators, or stalk me, or embarrass me. I wanted to spend some time with a genuinely _nice_ boy, without feeling like I’m being scrutinised and judged for it!” Arianne exclaimed. Jaime could see that Brienne didn’t take Arianne’s words well. He wondered exactly what he should do now. He’d never been a diplomat. He’d always been the parent to lose his shit and go completely crazy, when the kids did something wrong.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Arianne could see the anger on her mother’s face. She’d never known her mother to get really angry.

“If Rhaego Targaryen is such a nice boy, why did he tell you to lie to us?” Brienne asked. Arianne felt confusion then.

“He didn’t. He didn’t know I lied. Trystane and Rhaego didn’t know that we lied.” Arianne replied, knowing that being honest was about the only way she might escape with her life.

“So you decided to lie to me and your father, about your whereabouts, so you could sneak off to spend time with a ‘genuinely nice boy’?” Brienne asked coolly.

“I lied because Dad always says no. It’s embarrassing!” Arianne shot back, irritated at how this whole thing had turned on her. She knew lying to her parents was the wrong thing to do, but at the same time, she wanted to do what other girls did. She and Myrcella both felt left behind, when other girls talked about the dates they had, that their parents knew about, and Arianne had wanted to be able to brag about her own dates just once. But now, looking at the anger on her parents’ faces, Arianne wasn’t sure if all of this had been worth it. Brienne looked at her daughter.

“You’re grounded for the next month.” Brienne said.

“What?” Arianne exclaimed.

“For every complaint I hear, you’ll get an extra day.” Brienne said. Arianne shut her mouth quickly. “There will be no going out with friends, there will be no friends visiting the house.” Brienne carried on. Arianne wasn’t sure whether she was angry or whether she wanted to cry, at that moment.

“May I go to my room now?” Arianne said.

“I’m not finished, young lady.” Brienne’s voice snapped like the crack of a whip. Arianne waited for the next bombshell to drop. “You will be making no phone calls to any friends, nor will you be receiving any. You will hand over your mobile phone to me as soon as you get in from school every day. The only reason that you’ll even get to hold on to it during the day is so that if an emergency crops up, you’ll be able to contact us, or be contacted by us.” Brienne carried on. Arianne clenched her fists at her sides, wanting to scream. “In fact, there will be no internet for anything in the house. If you need to study for school, you’ll do it at school. For the next month, you won’t be available to anyone.” Brienne said.

“This is worse than prison! Even prisons let you interact with each other!” Arianne exclaimed.

“Interrupt me one more time Arianne Marie Lannister, and you’ll be grounded for the next two months instead of just one.” Brienne replied. Arianne was shaking with rage, but she kept her mouth shut. “After the month of grounding is up, you will tell me exactly where you are going and with whom, and if you lie to me, even once, I swear to you Arianne that I _will_ consider the Septa School that your father keeps banging on about.” Brienne said. Arianne wanted to cry. She looked at her father, but he wasn’t looking at her.

“May I go to my room now Mother?” Arianne asked.

“You may think I’m being hard on you Arianne.” Brienne said. Arianne looked her mother in the eyes then, and that was when she saw it. Her mother wasn’t really angry. Her mother was disappointed in her. “You’re fifteen years old Arianne. You don’t have children, so you have no idea what it’s like to be a parent. It’s our job to make sure that you live long enough to grow up, to have a family. It’s our job to protect you from all the nasty things in the world. Maybe, when you have a child of your own Arianne, you might actually understand why I’m punishing you this harshly. Maybe, when you have a teenage daughter, who tells you she’s going one place, and actually goes somewhere else. When she lies to your face, you might understand exactly how disappointed and horrified I feel at this moment.” Brienne said. Arianne felt sick to her stomach.

 _“It was just a small lie.”_ Arianne thought to herself.

“I’m sure that you think that the lie was small. You think that because you were with Myrcella, and Rhaego and Trystane, that you were perfectly safe. You may think that one tiny lie, isn’t that big of a deal. But let me ask you a question Arianne.” Brienne carried on. Arianne waited for her mother to speak. “What would have happened if you’d decided to go to the bathroom by yourself, and someone had seen you, followed you and, thinking a teenage girl is an easy target, they’d abducted you? What do you think would have happened if you, Myrcella, Trystane and Rhaego, had gotten on a bus to go home and the bus had crashed? There your father and I are, here at home, maybe seeing this awful accident on the news, not knowing that you were in that accident, because as far as we know, you’re in the cinema? What if you’d gotten into an argument with Myrcella, or Trystane, or Rhaego, stormed off to go home and been abducted, or robbed, or murdered, or a hundred other worse things that could happen to a young girl travelling alone?” Brienne asked. Arianne felt worse and worse about her lie by the second.

“Mum I...” Arianne didn’t know what to say.

“Imagine Arianne that you went missing, that someone did abduct you, that they took you and Myrcella and Rhaego and Trystane for ransom. The Martells and Targaryens are almost as wealthy as the Lannisters and Baratheons. The police would be asking us where to start looking for clues, to try and find out who took you, where, when and how. Then imagine we sent the police to the cinema, because that is where you told us you would be. You may think that I’m being over the top. You may think that all of these things are unlikely to happen to you. But everyone that these sorts of things have happened to? They all probably thought the same things. They probably thought they would never get abducted or hurt, would never be in a situation where one lie destroyed their chance at rescue, or simply think all the horror stories in newspapers and on television, in movies or books, are simply not things that could ever happen to them. But bad things _do_ happen Arianne. Even to good people. And for you to lie to me and your father, because you find our worry _embarrassing_ , means that I can’t trust you to tell us the truth.” Brienne said. Arianne felt terrible.

“It wasn’t... I... I didn’t think it was a big thing. I just...” Arianne trailed off.

“You wanted to fit in with the cool kids, Arianne. You forget that school life isn’t forever. You forget that you don’t need to follow a crowd to be cool.” Brienne stood up. Arianne looked at the floor, because she couldn’t bear to look into her mother’s face anymore. She saw her mother’s hand outstretched under her face, and Arianne didn’t argue as she handed over her mobile phone. “Maybe you’ll understand one day Arianne, maybe you won’t. But for now, you’re just going to have to deal with the fact that we’re going to do everything we can to protect you, even if you think it’s overkill.” Brienne said. Arianne looked at her mother, who was holding Arianne’s pink android phone in her hand. “I want you to bring me your laptop and tablet, so I can turn off the internet. Then you can stay in your room if you want to.” Brienne finished. Arianne didn’t say another word. She went upstairs and brought her laptop and tablet downstairs, watched as her mother disabled the internet. Her mother had childproofed the tablet and the laptop, so that if Arianne tried to log on to the wifi, she’d need a password. Arianne then went to her room, thinking about how disappointed her parents were with her.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

“Do you think I was too harsh on her?” Brienne asked Jaime later that evening. Jaime was laying down in bed next to his wife, and the question made him look at her, wondering if there was a right or wrong answer to the question.

“I think that Arianne lied to us and that it’s not the first time. She can’t keep lying. But this isn’t quite about the fact she lied, is it?” Jaime asked. Brienne sighed.

“Jaime, if she lies to us about where she is going, she puts herself in danger.” Brienne said softly.

“Well, I’m not impressed that she lied to us to go and meet up with Rhaego Targaryen and Trystane Martell with Myrcella. But she was meeting up with Myrcella.” Jaime said.

“You don’t get it Jaime. You think this is about her going to meet Rhaego Targaryen at a bowling alley. I don’t care that she wanted to meet up with Rhaego.” Brienne told Jaime firmly. Jaime looked at Brienne in confusion.

“So what caused you to get so angry? I’m the one that usually loses my temper.” Jaime asked. Brienne looked down at her nails and then back up at Jaime.

“This time she was going to meet Rhaego, she was with Myrcella. Rhaego and Trystane, despite how you and Robert feel about protecting the virtue of your little girls, are not bad boys. I’ve met their mothers and fathers, I’ve met _them_ on occasion. If you looked past how terribly overprotective you are, you’d be able to admit that neither Rhaego, nor Trystane, would actually ever hurt Arianne or Myrcella.” Brienne said. Jaime frowned.

“Look, of course I know, _technically_ , that Rhaego and Trystane are harmless. Maybe it’s a fear of Arianne not being my little girl anymore.” Jaime said. Brienne shook her head, a half smile appeared on her face.

“You think I don’t know that? I know Jaime. I’ve known you long enough to know how you think. But this time, Arianne was meeting up with _them_. Another time she might not be. Another time she might decide to meet up with someone else. She might think she’s big enough and strong enough to go and meet some random person. Not because she’s stupid, but simply because she’s lived a life of privilege. She’s never had to worry about being in danger before. She doesn’t really realise that there is any danger that she needs to worry about. What happens if, the next time she decides to meet up with someone, she lies and tells us she’s meeting someone we know? What happens if she lies because she thinks we’ll say no, and she meets up with someone she spoke to on the internet, or she meets up with someone that _she_ thinks is harmless. She would be putting herself at risk, because she thinks it’s alright to lie because we might say no. She has to understand that she can’t lie her way out of trouble. She can’t lie her way into getting what she wants. Because if she thinks she can do that, she’ll put herself into dangerous situations, simply because she thinks she knows better than us. She’s too young to know better. She’s coming up sixteen Jaime, but she’s still a kid.” Brienne said. Jaime looked at Brienne curiously.

“This is about more than just the fact that Arianne lied to us.” Jaime stated. Brienne took a deep breath.

“Look, you grew up in this world of elite, first class, blue blood, rich people. I didn’t grow up that way Jaime. Well, I suppose I did, at least a little. My father owns a big house, and I never went without anything. My family are quite well off. But...” Brienne trailed off.

“What?” Jaime asked. Brienne sighed.

“I never told you about my teen years, did I?” Brienne asked. Jaime shook his head. “Well, I wasn’t an angel. I was a pain in the backside. My father sent me to a Septa’s School, a boarding school in the Reach. That’s how Margaery and I met.” Brienne said. Jaime’s eyes went wide.

“Your father? Selwyn Tarth? Sent his only living child to a boarding school?” Jaime asked. Brienne gave Jaime a look.

“Well, he wasn’t home most of the time. We don’t have a large family. You know that my mother and siblings died when I was quite young. So it was either sending me to a boarding school, or moving me around constantly and me having to adapt to a different school every couple of months. My father was in the army before he retired and decided to live a nice quiet life in our family home.” Brienne replied.

“So your father thought you’d be better off, staying in one school and making friends and such.” Jaime said.

“ _He_ did. _I_ didn’t. I was so angry at him most of the time. I spent most of my childhood and teen years, absolutely furious with him. Rebelling as much as I thought I could. When I met Margaery at the school, she became my best friend. We had more in common than most people realised. She was angry at her parents too. We’d both skip lessons, sneak out of the dorms to do whatever we thought of at the time and we thought we knew everything there was to know. But things changed after Margaery and I snuck out of the dorms one night, with another girl.” Brienne said softly.

“Another girl?” Jaime asked. Brienne nodded.

“Yeah. Her name was Melara Hetherspoon.” Brienne replied.

“Was?” Jaime questioned. Brienne gnawed on her bottom lip.

“We snuck out, told the Septas we were going to pray in the Sept. Melara was older than us. She knew where we could go, and not get asked for ID. We weren’t even truly friends. She was someone we knew, a co-conspirator, someone we hung out with, but were never close to. We went to a nightclub in the town, with our fake ID’s. We thought we were being really smart. We thought no one would ever know what we’d done. But while we were in that nightclub, Melara went off with a guy. He was someone she’d met before apparently. She told us she’d be back in a little while and we didn’t think anything of it. After all, she’d been doing all of this much longer than we had. But she didn’t come back.” Brienne said. Jaime looked at Brienne incredulously. Brienne looked Jaime in the eyes. “We figured that she’d gone off to hook up with the guy she’d been talking to. It wasn’t the first time it had happened. So Margaery and I waited for her. We waited until the nightclub was going to close. We’d been so long that when we decided to go back to the School, the Septas had noticed we weren’t in our beds. They’d called our parents. My father and Margaery’s grandmother, were on their way. So were Melara’s parents. But...” Brienne trailed off. “Melara’s body was found a week later. Someone had dumped her into a well, left her there. Someone noticed something odd, and called the police. That was how her body was discovered. And to this day, I don’t think of how much trouble I got into. I don’t think about how disappointed my father was with me. Even though I never knew I could be so upset about my father being disappointed in me. But the first thing that I think about... I think that if we had just been honest with the Septas, if we hadn’t snuck out, if we’d maybe questioned Melara a little more about the guy she was going off with... that Melara might still be alive. But we lied. We didn’t want Melara to get into trouble. We told the Septas that we didn’t know where she was. It took for us to see her empty seat in the lunch hall the next day, for us to realise that she wasn’t coming back. She was in trouble. We told the Septas that truth that very moment. We told them what we’d done, where we’d gone, and what we knew about Melara. But we were too late. She was probably already dead, even when we did tell the Septas and the police the truth.” Brienne finished.

“So that’s why you don’t want Arianne to lie?” Jaime asked. Brienne nodded.

“A lie, no matter how small you think it is, or how harmless, can make a huge difference. Arianne needs to learn that lesson before she risks her own life, or someone else’s.” Brienne told Jaime. Jaime nodded. He finally understood Brienne’s overly harsh punishment. He could hardly blame her for her reaction at all. Brienne, as an adult, had become a responsible member of society, and a loving mother. But she clearly knew that things could always go wrong, and maybe that was her greatest fear, and it was one that Jaime had never known that she had.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Arianne clenched her fists to her sides, in the material of the extra baggy pyjamas she wore. She felt guilty for lying to her parents in the first place, and her mother’s reaction to it had shaken Arianne a little. She’d thought to maybe say goodnight to them, but as she had been about to knock on the door, she heard her mother and father talking. She was curious and the story she heard, made her feel even more guilty for lying to her parents. She swore to herself, then and there, that she would never lie to her parents again. No matter what the circumstances, she would be honest.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Three months later, things seemed to be getting back to normal. Arianne and Myrcella were no longer grounded, and Brienne and Cersei were both allowing the girls to go out again. Robert, Jaime, Stannis and Tyrion were having a meeting with Tywin in the private boardroom again, when Renly burst into the room with Loras following behind him.

“Robert! Stannis! We need help! Like right now!” Renly exclaimed. The group looked at Renly and Loras. Loras looked like he didn’t really want to be there.

“Wait! You three _never_ get on, all at the same time.” Tyrion said dryly. Jaime couldn’t help thinking the same thing, as they all looked up from their seats at Renly and Loras.

“You’re asking for help from _both_ your older brothers?” Jaime asked.

“What is going on Renly? We’re at work you know.” Stannis asked.

“Yeah Ren! What’s wrong? Loras?” Robert questioned.

“Cassana has a boyfriend!” Renly yelled. Tyrion and Tywin both sighed, as Jaime and Robert jumped up from their seats. Stannis just looked confused.

“Cassana has a boyfriend?” Robert exclaimed.

“Oh Gods! Not this again!” Tyrion exclaimed. Tywin looked like he wanted to say the same thing, but he refrained.

“Yes, Cassie has a boyfriend. Ren, this is ridiculous! Of course Cassie was going to have a boyfriend eventually Renly. Who would have thought you’d be more narrow minded than Stannis?” Loras questioned. Stannis just carried on looking confused.

“Cassana is dating Olyvar Martell!” Renly yelled.

“Olyvar Martell? You mean the youngest child of Oberyn Martell?” Stannis asked.

“A Martell is a Martell!” Renly yelled. Loras sighed.

“Olyvar isn’t that bad you know.” Loras said.

“Why couldn’t she be dating Eddard or Jojen Stark? Why couldn’t she just date a nice boy? She’s dating a boy who can’t seem to pick one person to stick with!” Renly exclaimed.

“Just because Oberyn Martell is a Pansexual, doesn’t mean that Olyvar is. Besides, why should it matter if he’s bisexual or not?” Loras tried to soothe.

“That’s not the point! The point is that our baby girl is going out with a Martell! Martells hate Baratheons!” Renly fumed angrily.

“See? Finally someone understands!” Robert exclaimed.

“What?” Jaime and Tyrion both exclaimed.

“Myrcella is dating Trystane Martell! And Cersei wants us to invite him over for dinner!” Robert yelled. Jaime jumped up then.

“Seriously? Brienne wants us to invite Rhaego Targaryen over for dinner too!” Jaime exclaimed.

“Oh great!” Both Tyrion and Tywin said sarcastically. Both having a horrible feeling as to where this was going to end up.

“Got to admit that you have the rough end of the deal Jaime. Your daughter is dating a Targaryen. Targaryen’s are worse than Martells.” Robert said.

“Did Robert just empathise and sympathise with Jaime?” Renly asked, regaining his calm for a few moments.

“Yes. Yes he did. And strangely it’s rather frightening.” Stannis replied.

“Come on Ren, let’s go home and I’ll make you some cookies.” Loras said. Renly scowled.

“No way! Loras we need to resolve this boyfriend issue!” Renly exclaimed, a scowl on his face.

“I don’t get why it’s such a bad thing. From what I’ve heard, Olyvar Martell is a genuinely nice boy. I think Myrcella said she’s met him before and he was nothing but friendly.” Stannis said.

“Oh Stannis. When Shireen is a teenage girl, you will understand only too well.” Renly said, patting his left shoulder. Robert nodded and patted his right shoulder.

“Exactly Stannis. Shireen is nearly a teenager. You’ll see! It’s all about keeping away teenage boys!” Robert said.

“What did I say about Renly, Stannis and Robert getting together to support each other emotionally?” Tyrion asked. Jaime cringed.

“I think Robert said we should never use those words in the same sentence again.” Jaime said.

“Too late.” Tyrion said. Tywin didn’t look pleased at the antics going on in his boardroom.

“They’re going to the park to meet up with Myrcella, Arianne, Trystane and Rhaego!” Renly exclaimed. Jaime’s eyes went wide.

“We _have_ to go and keep an eye on _everything_!” Jaime yelled.

“Jaime! Your wife _will_ kill you!” Tyrion exclaimed. Tywin sighed.

 _“Brienne might well murder Jaime. But at least I have two perfectly good heirs if she does.”_ Tywin thought to himself.

“Which park are they at?” Robert asked angrily.

“The Queen Alysanne Memorial Park!” Renly yelled back.

“That’s not too far from here! Let’s go!” Jaime yelled.

“You do realise that you all have jobs.” Tywin said.

“Of course we know that father!” Jaime exclaimed.

“You also realise that we’re in the middle of an important meeting.” Tywin added.

“We know that Tywin! We’ll be back as soon as possible!” Robert exclaimed. With that, Renly and Robert grabbed Stannis and yanked him up from his seat and out of the boardroom. Jaime lifted Tyrion out of his seat and ran with him under his arm.

“Jaime! I did not agree to this! I’m not a football!” Tyrion yelled as Jaime ran out of the room with him. Loras looked at Tywin.

“Uh... I’m really sorry about all this Tywin. But I’d better follow after them and make sure they don’t do anything _too_ crazy.” Loras said. He ran out of the room. Tywin was very confused. He was just about to make a call to Cersei and Brienne, who he’d given the day off to, when Loras poked his head back in. “Not to say that Tyrion isn’t smart enough to stop them, it’s just that... well it’s one against three! Stannis isn’t likely to argue with them.” Loras added. Then he was gone. Tywin sighed, then decided to make that phone call.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

“What the hell are you idiots doing?” Jaime, Tyrion, Robert, Renly, Loras and Stannis all turned around from their crouching position behind some shrubbery. Well, Tyrion didn’t need to crouch and was quite thankful the shrubbery hid him standing up. Selyse, Cersei, Brienne and Margaery were all glaring, arms crossed over their chests. It was Cersei who’d spoken.

“How did you even know we were here?” Jaime asked. Galladon peeked out from behind Brienne, who appeared to be the only one who was taller than their son recently. Jaime glared.

“Sorry dad, but that was me. Grandfather called Mum and I answered, and Aunt Cersei, Aunt Selyse and Aunt Margaery were at our house. I couldn’t _not_ tell them.” Galladon admitted. He didn’t look very sorry as far as Jaime was concerned.

“You’re such a traitor. You’re supposed to be on my side.” Jaime grumbled. Galladon shrugged.

“I’m not on anyone’s side. I just think that if Arianne were dating a Frey or a Bolton, you’d probably have hired faceless men to kill them by now. Rhaego isn’t that bad at all. He’s actually very gentlemanly. So are Trystane and Olyvar. They’re _not_ that bad.” Galladon said. Jaime, Robert and Renly scowled. Stannis shrugged.

“And _why_ are _you_ involved in this Tyrion?” Margaery asked. She was close to giving birth, and she generally was in a bad mood recently. Tyrion sighed inwardly, having a bad feeling he was going to get a lecture about stupid decisions when they finally got home.

“Jaime carried me here under his arm like a football.” Tyrion replied. Margaery then looked at Loras.

“And you Loras? I suppose you’re babysitting Renly?” Margaery questioned.

“Well... yes... basically... I couldn’t let them kill a trio of teenage boys.” Loras replied. Margaery sighed.

“This is ridiculous.” Margaery stated.

“You don’t say.” Brienne agreed.

“I have no idea why I’m here.” Stannis stated.

“Because when your daughter starts dating, you’ll want our help to stalk her boyfriends.” Robert said. Stannis shrugged.

“It is entirely true I suppose.” Stannis replied.

“What are you guys doing here?” The group of parents, uncles and Galladon, all turned to look at Myrcella and Arianne. Both teen girls had taken up the same positions as their mothers, with matching scowls and arms folded over their chests. Cassana stood beside them, her own arms folded over her chest in the same way as her Aunt Margaery.

“They were stopping our fathers from spying on you guys” Galladon said.

“Traitor!” Robert, Renly and Jaime exclaimed at the same time.

“Will you three grow up and stop acting like children?” Cersei stated angrily.

“And stop dragging Stannis into this. I have fanfiction for him to beta.” Selyse said irritably. Stannis stood up properly and straightened his suit jacket.

“I’m sorry Selyse. I did promise to help you with that today.” Stannis apologised. Selyse smiled and threaded an arm around Stannis’ arm. She kissed him on the cheek.

“Come on Stannis. Let’s go home. Davos is watching Shireen. She’s doing her homework with Devan, Davos’ son. You remember him. He’s such a sweet boy. They’re in the same class at school.” Selyse said. Stannis went as pale as fresh milk then.

“Shireen and Devan are doing homework together?” Stannis asked. Selyse nodded.

“Of course they are. They’re such good students.” Selyse said. Jaime, Renly and Robert all gave Stannis the surreptitious, fatherly nods, as he was walked away by his wife.

“We’re going back to our dates. You guys need to learn boundaries.” Myrcella stated, glaring at her father and uncles. Arianne nodded her agreement, also glaring, and so did Cassana. That was when Trystane, Olyvar and Rhaego appeared. Rhaego had a shirt on, but it was open. His hair was quite long, and he handed Arianne a flower.

“Thanks Rhaego.” Arianne said, a sweet smile gracing her lips. This made Jaime even more angry.

“Dad, this is my boyfriend Rhaego Targaryen. Rhaego, you’ve met my father Jaime Lannister, of course. And my mother, Brienne Tarth-Lannister and my brother Galladon.” Arianne introduced.

“Yes, Olyvar, these are my fathers, Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell-Baratheon. Although Daddy Loras is _a lot_ calmer than Daddy Renly.” Cassana said. Renly glared.

“Daddy Loras is not calmer than Daddy Renly! Daddy Renly doesn’t want his little girl’s heart to get broken!” Renly yelled.

“I would never!” Olyvar said dramatically. His dark eyes stared at Renly and Loras, making the teen boy look like a puppy, rather than a boy.

“And of course, Trystane, you’ve met my father Robert Baratheon, and my mother Cersei Lannister-Baratheon.” Myrcella introduced.

“Of course. It is my pleasure to see you all again, Mr and Mrs Baratheon.” Trystane said.

“It’s nice to see you again Mrs Lannister, you too Galladon. And Mr Lannister... of course...” Rhaego trailed off. Rhaego found Jaime rather intimidating, even at the best of times.

“Okay, now the introductions are done, let’s go and take some rowboats out on the lake!” Arianne exclaimed.

“Have fun kids.” Brienne said.

“Be safe with the rowboats!” Cersei called after them.

“Go and have fun, Cassie sweetie!” Margaery called to the three couples. Then they looked down at the men.

“We are all going home.” Cersei said.

“We need to make sure that those overly well-mannered boys, keep their teenage hands and everything else to themselves.” Jaime exclaimed.

“What he said!” Robert exclaimed as well.

“Yeah!” Renly argued. Brienne glared at the trio. Then set her glare on Renly.

“If you don’t go home with Loras _right now,_ I will drag you by your ear, like a naughty school kid!” Brienne said, calmly. Renly’s eyes went wide.

“Uh... Okay! Loras! Let’s go! We can lecture Cassie later!” Renly said. His voice sounded fearful. Then he was gone in an instant, Loras following him sheepishly.

“What did you do to my little brother, Brienne?” Robert asked.

“She’s yanked him by his ear before. He never forgot it. Now he has piercings, it’ll hurt twice as much.” Margaery replied, an almost evil smile on her face.

“Robert! We’re leaving right now! Or you can sleep on the couch for the next two months instead?” Cersei said. Robert gave up the fight then and followed Cersei like a kicked puppy. Margaery looked at Tyrion.

“Can we go home now? I’m craving some Pentoshi chicken.” Margaery said. Tyrion grinned.

“Of course. Whatever you and baby Genna or Willem want.” Tyrion said. Then Margaery and Tyrion were gone. Jaime and Brienne were the last ones left.

“Come on Jaime. You promised you were going to try and be less of a psycho when it came to Arianne’s love life.” Brienne said.

“Arianne is fifteen! She doesn’t have a love life, unless it’s writing cute notes to throw at a boy in class. And she’d better not be doing that.” Jaime said. Brienne sighed.

“Jaime, you just described how nine and ten year olds interact with each other. We’re leaving now, or I promise you, I’ll adopt the Cersei punishment routine. You really don’t want me to do that.” Brienne said. Jaime sighed and gave up. After all, Arianne knew he was there. He couldn’t spy when they knew he was there. Galladon simply followed his parents, very thankful that no one seemed to care that he had a girlfriend.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

“You know, you never told me how you found out that Arianne and Myrcella were going to the bowling alley that day.” Brienne said. Jaime and Brienne were both sat in the kitchen later that afternoon. Tywin had taken the other kids out with him. He’d decided that the interruption to the meeting had annoyed him so much, that they were rescheduling it for the next day.

“Well..... if I told you then I’d lose one of my most valuable sources of information.” Jaime replied. Brienne glared and Jaime just grinned back at her.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

“Achooo!” Both Joanna and Alysanne sneezed loudly. Tywin looked at the two girls. Arthur on his lap, who also stared at them. Tommen and Galladon were kicking a football around in the back garden, while Joanna and Alysanne watched them with their grandfather and little brother.

“They say when you sneeze someone’s talking about you.” Alysanne said.

“Yeap. Probably Mummy and Daddy.” Joanna replied. Tywin looked at his twin granddaughters.

“Why would they be talking about you girls?” Tywin asked. Joanna and Alysanne blinked and looked at their grandfather.

“Probably because Daddy,” Joanna started.

“Never told Mummy,” Alysanne carried on.

“That we told him Arianne was going to the bowling alley.” They said at the same time.

“What?” Tywin asked, confused for the first time in his life. The twins grinned up at their grandfather.

“Well, Arianne told Mummy and Daddy she was going to the cinema.” Joanna said.

“Yeah. With Myrcella.” Alysanne added.

“But she wasn’t.” They both said.

“And how on earth did you two learn that?” Tywin asked.

“Arianne never hears us. We were looking for the stash of candy she keeps hidden in the hidden space in her wardrobe.” Joanna said.

“So when we were looking for the candy, we were in her wardrobe. Then she came into the room and she was on the phone with ‘Cella.” Alysanne explained.

“So we heard them talking. And we decided that we had to tell Daddy. Because Arianne shouldn’t lie. Mummy always says we shouldn’t lie.” Joanna finished.

“Then why didn’t you tell your mother, instead of your father?” Tywin asked them.

“Oh that’s easy grandfather!” Alysanne exclaimed.

“Daddy offers the best deal. Immunity on sneaking into Arianne’s room, and candy for information.” Joanna added. Tywin didn’t know whether to be impressed at the intelligence of his granddaughters, or whether to be terrified that one day these little girls would grow up with such intelligence. But for now, he decided to be impressed. After all, he’d never managed to teach Jaime the importance of bargaining. If his children could learn it, then Tywin wouldn’t be the one complaining.

**Author's Note:**

> So..... You got this far. I hope you got some laughs from this story. Feel free to comment and tell me if you got to laugh. I'm always happy when people get to laugh. (nods) Well... until next time, I hope you enjoyed. (nods)


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